Ascended Master MORE, June 29, 2008 through Kim Michaels.

Whatever you have done in this or past lives, it is of no consequence in the grand scheme of things. For everything is created out of the Ma-ter light, which is like the sand in the sand boxes you all used to play in as children. Whatever you do with the sand, whatever kind of castle you build, you cannot hurt the sand. But neither can you create anything permanent, for when you leave it and the sun comes out and dries the sand in your castle, then it begins to crumble. Do you see, my beloved? God is not the angry, judgmental God who has put you into a world, where the slightest mistake you make will qualify you for hell for all eternity. God is the loving God who has put you into a sand box and said, “Build anything you want, for you cannot hurt the sand. You can only hurt yourself.”

But you truly hurt yourself only in your own perception. Thus, do you see, that whatever mistake you have made has no consequence in the grand scheme of things? But it has a consequence in your own world, in that it can make you feel guilty, unworthy, fearful, even angry. And so the subtle, psychological mechanism is, that when you allow yourself to feel condemnation, self-condemnation, for the fact that you have made a mistake—well then you enter into a state of pain, that can easily become so intense that you refuse to look at the decisions, the consciousness, that caused you to commit the outer actions. And if you refuse to look at the consciousness, well how can you resolve it and move on. And this then is what becomes the Catch 22 – for some people even a Catch 33 or a Catch 99 – for they have built so many layers of this guilt, anger and fear.

This is the essence of what caused the murder of the Divine Mother. For the unwillingness to transcend comes from the unwillingness to look at something from the past – and learn from it – because it is too painful. And thus, the ego will always trick you into lessening the sense of guilt so that you can live with it. And how does the ego do this? It does so by causing you to project outside yourself that it was not really your fault. It was something else that made you do it.

In many cases, what happens is:

You descend into embodiment in the material realm, where everything is created out of the Ma-ter light.
You make a mistake, which we do not see as a mistake, but you see it as a mistake.
It causes pain.
You will not look at the pain. So you project that it was not your fault. It was some condition in the material realm that made you do it.

And now what have you done? You have projected onto the Mother that it is the Mother’s fault. And how can this not lead to hatred of the Mother, which then – when you are challenged to realize that no, it was not the Mother who made you do it, it was you who made the choice to do it – well then you want to silence that voice. For you are not willing to look at the pain, to go into the pain and realize that although running away can diminish the intensity of the pain, you will still never be able to run away from it. Instead, you will have the lesser intensity of the pain as the constant companion. But if, instead, you would turn around – walk right into the pain – then you would for a short time feel the intensity of the pain, but you would walk through it and realize that you are more than the pain. And there is peace, release, surrender, freedom on the other side.

The cause of self-hatred

But as long as you run away, you cannot do that. So what must you do? You must justify running away by again projecting layers of images and illusions onto the Mother. Which then causes you to feel more and more resentful, coming to the point of having hatred of the Mother. Which is truly a hatred of self; but who are you? You are an expression of the Father, but you are in the Mother of God. For all in the world of form is the Mother. And so, you are also the Mother. So when you hate the Mother, you are hating yourself.

But you see, my beloved, what is it you are hating? You are hating something that is an illusion. And what is the grand illusion? Well, it is the illusion caused by the fact, that the lowering of the collective consciousness on a planet like earth has given matter a certain density, where it seems like your actions have physical consequences that you cannot escape and that will follow you for a long time. And thus it seems like the Mother really is punishing you for your mistakes by some physical consequence. Yet, the reality is that the Mother is not punishing you. The Mother is at any moment reflecting back to you the images that you hold in your consciousness. And thus, what you are hating are these images that are not the Mother—that are not you. They are created out of the duality consciousness which is unreal. So what you hate is unreal.

And the only way out of it is to look at it from a realistic perspective and recognize that it is not real, admit that it is not real. Admit that you chose to believe in an illusion, but that neither God the Father nor God the Mother will hold you to that choice, and will say that once you have made that choice you should be bound by it forever. It is only the devil who will seek to make you believe in this lie. The Father and the Mother have given you the free will to change your mind at any time, to undo an imperfect decision by making a right choice—a LIFE decision to replace the death decision. My Beloved, what I endeavor to give you here is a greater understanding of how you hold yourself back.

This is an excerpt from a longer teaching. You can read the full dictation HERE.