| Answer
from Jesus:
As you say, it used to be
more common to obey the vows of marriage. The fact that this is no longer
so is seen by many Christians as a sign of the deteriorating morals
of the time. However, there is more to the picture.
As I explain in one of my discourses,
humankind is being raised to a higher level of consciousness. In the
present age, people should ideally attain a more rational understanding
of God’s laws, so that they can use those laws consciously and
voluntarily align themselves with God’s purpose. Unfortunately,
as I explain throughout this website, orthodox Christianity did not
live up to its highest potential, and therefore Christianity has not
been able to give people a deeper understanding of God’s laws.
Instead, Christianity became centered in a fear-based approach to life
and attempted to defend the doctrines of the past instead of bringing
down the higher understanding of the future.
As a result of this, you now have a situation where a growing number
of people simply cannot be satisfied by blind faith. They cannot blindly
follow God’s laws. Yet because they have never been given a true
understanding of the path to Christhood, they often end up rebelling
against church dogmas and rules without replacing them with the higher
understanding that comes from walking the path of Christhood.
Many people have now fallen into a state of consciousness in which they
have rejected the old rules, such as the vows of marriage, and think
that anything goes. In other words, if it feels good, it could not possibly
be wrong. This has caused many people, including many truly spiritual
people who have the potential for manifesting Christhood, to become
self-centered in the carnal mind and the human ego rather than self-centered
in the Christ self and the I AM Presence. Therefore, they see no spiritual
purpose to marriage and often break up marriages from a lower motivation.
So let me now attempt to give you a higher understanding of marriage
and the value of the marriage vow.
As I explain throughout this website, life can be seen as a spiritual
path that leads toward the Christ consciousness. When you accept this
view of life, you realize that everything that happens to you is an
opportunity for growth. Every situation you encounter, every choice
you make, will either take you one step closer to Christ consciousness
or one step further away from Christ consciousness.
In any situation, there are most likely two elements. One is that the
situation gives you an opportunity to balance karma from the past and
thereby become free of that burden of misqualified energy. The other
element is that a situation gives you an opportunity to learn something
about yourself and the blocks in your own psychology that prevent you
from manifesting Christhood.
When you transfer this to marriage, you will see that a marriage is
an incredible opportunity to balance karma with another person. Marriage
is also a great opportunity for learning about your personal limitations,
so that you can free your psychology from the blocks that stand between
you and Christhood. If you are truly committed to spiritual growth,
you will see that a marriage is not simply for pleasure or convenience.
It is truly an opportunity to overcome your karmic and psychological
limitations, so that you can take a major step forward toward personal
Christhood.
I can assure you that there is hardly any marriage on Earth in which
people do not have karma with each other. In other words, you should
assume that you have karma with your spouse, and therefore the marriage
is an opportunity to balance that karma and win your freedom. I can
also assure you that there is absolutely no marriage that does not give
you an opportunity to have your psychological hang ups exposed, so that
you can deal with them consciously and leave them behind for good.
In fact, I can assure you that most people choose their marriage partner
before coming into embodiment. And most souls make their choices based
on which partner gives them the best opportunity to balance karma and
work out the kinks in their psychology. In other words, the outer attraction
to your marriage partner is simply a reflection of a deeper soul knowledge
that you truly want to balance your karma with that person, and you
truly want to learn the lessons you can learn from being married to
that person.
When you apply this view of marriage, you realize that the last thing
you want to do is to break up a marriage before you have fulfilled your
spiritual purpose for starting that marriage. In other words, you don't
want to break up the marriage before you have balanced all karma with
your spouse. And you don't want to break up the marriage before you
have learned all psychological lessons you could learn from that person.
If you do, those problems will simply move with you into your next relationship.
When you have this deeper understanding of the spiritual implications
of a marriage, you can see that many people break up a marriage before
they have balanced the karma or learned their lessons. In fact, many
people make more karma and solidify their psychological hang ups rather
then resolving them.
This happens partly because people do not understand the spiritual side
of the equation but also because they have become too anchored in the
lower self and its egotistical needs and desires. This causes people
to feel many negative feelings toward their partner. One of the most
common is that a person feels that he or she is entitled to something
from a partner. This is true because you are entitled to something
from your partner, namely an opportunity to balance the karma and resolve
your psychology. Yet that gift is present in every marriage—if
only you are open to receiving it.
Unfortunately, what happens to many people is that they become centered
in the lower desires of the human ego. Therefore, they begin to feel
that they are entitled to some outer thing from their partner and when
the partner does not deliver, they start to feel that they are being
shortchanged. This then makes them feel that they are being treated
unfairly, and instead of taking responsibility for their personal path,
they begin blaming the partner. Obviously, the moment you start blaming
someone else, your spiritual growth inevitably comes to a halt.
As I explain throughout this website, everything revolves around your
free will. The only thing that can bring you one step higher on your
personal path is that you take responsibility for present situation
and make the highest possible choice in that situation. As soon as you
begin to blame your marriage partner for your lack of growth or fulfillment,
you are refusing to take responsibility, and therefore you cannot make
the choices that will help you grow.
You cannot make those choices because you have managed to get yourself
into a state of consciousness in which you think it is the other person
who needs to make certain choices. And as long as your partner will
not change, you feel that you cannot change either. This of course is
the ultimate lie of the human ego, and it is precisely the lie that
your ego, as the enemy within, and the dark forces, as the enemy without,
will use to trap you in your current state of mind and prevent you from
taking that next step on your personal path.
What I am trying to explain here is that any marriage, no matter how
unfulfilling it might seem from the perspective of the ego, offers your
soul an opportunity for growth. If you have decided to marry a person,
you should accept the fact that your soul had a very good spiritual
reason for prompting your outer mind to make that decision.
You should assume that your soul truly wants to balance all karma with
that person and learn particular lessons from the marriage. Therefore,
until those inner, spiritual goals are fulfilled, you would actually
harm your spiritual growth by breaking up the marriage. It is especially
dangerous to break up a marriage because your human ego is disappointed
over your partner’s perceived shortcomings. This will only anchor
you more firmly in the grips of the ego and make it more difficult for
you to grow. My point being that if you have taken a marriage vow, you
should fulfill that vow by remaining committed to your spouse and diligently
work to balance your karma and learn your lessons.
You ask what should happen when the spiritual communion between partners
vanishes or was never there. As I said, there is always a spiritual
purpose for a marriage. This does not necessarily mean that the partners
feel spiritual communion or even mutual love and respect. The marriage
can be very unfulfilling from an outer perspective, but there can still
be the opportunity to balance karma and resolve psychology.
So you would do well to approach the marriage with the clear intention
of fulfilling those two goals. This will make it far easier to endure
any marriage and the inevitable disappointments that come with virtually
any human relationship. It will also increase the likelihood that you
and your spouse can gradually balance the karma and resolve your psychology.
Thereby, you can actually begin to support each other and have greater
spiritual communion. In other words, no marriage will work unless you
make a sincere effort to make it work.
That being said, it is true that there can come a point when the marriage
no longer fulfills a spiritual purpose. In that case, it can be beneficial
to the spiritual growth of both partners to break up the marriage and
move on. I realize this will shock many Christians who think back to
my statements about divorce in the Bible. So let me explain this in
greater detail.
First of all, any spiritual teaching is adapted to the consciousness
of the people to whom it was given. When I appeared 2,000 years ago,
many men would divorce their wives when they no longer found them young
and attractive. They would then marry a younger wife to fulfill their
sexual desires. Because of the social conditions existing at the time,
it was virtually impossible for a woman to earn a living on her own.
Therefore, many such women had no other option but to turn to prostitution,
which was considered a sin and highly condemned by society.
This situation was a clear reflection of the abusive attitude toward
women that many cultures have had for thousands of years. Many men considered
women as a commodity that they could get rid of when they no longer
served their purposes. As a part of my effort to restore the rightful
role of women, as I explain elsewhere,
I needed to make a very strong statement against divorce. This was done
partly for the protection of women and partly to help men avoid making
the karma of abusing women, thereby increasing the imbalance between
the feminine and masculine aspect of their own nature and stopping their
spiritual growth.
In today's world you do have a situation where a woman can earn a living
without a husband. You also have laws that protect the rights of a woman
after a divorce, and you have more social services. Therefore, it is
no longer correct to say that a divorce is against the laws of God or
my commands. It is possible to have a lawful divorce when a marriage
no longer fulfills its spiritual purpose. This is especially true when
a marriage involves emotional or physical abuse. In that respect, destroying
or hindering a person’s spiritual growth is the ultimate form
of abuse.
However, I must caution people that most of the divorces that occur
today are not lawful in a spiritual sense. Most people get a divorce
because their egos make them feel disappointed in the marriage, as explained
above. Therefore, to get a divorce is a serious decision that should
only be made after long and careful consideration, and preferably it
should come as an intuitive revelation from your Christ self.
I would highly recommend that anyone who considers having a divorce
would first take steps to ensure that the spiritual purpose of the marriage
is fulfilled. That would include applying the Violet
Flame to consume all karma, and it should include doing everything
possible to learn your lessons about your psychology. As part of this,
you should consider doing various kinds of marriage counseling or therapy
and make a sincere effort to make the marriage work. I would also caution
people to do the 33-day
vigil and seek attunement with your Christ self before you make
any final decision.
Let me now comment on a passage from Matthew, Chapter 19:
3 ¶ The Pharisees
also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful
for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which
made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
The key statement is that
no man should put asunder what God has joined together. The inner meaning
of that statement is that you should not allow your human ego and carnal
mind to cause you to divorce a spouse before the marriage has fulfilled
the spiritual purpose defined by your soul. In other words, a higher
authority (what I call God), meaning your soul in council with your
spiritual teachers, brought you together with your spouse for a specific
purpose. You should remain true to that purpose until it has been fulfilled.
And you should not allow your lower mind and the desires of that lower
mind (what I call man) to detract you from the spiritual purpose of
the marriage.
Take note also that the man and wife can become one flesh. The true
spiritual meaning of that statement is that man and wife have the potential
to enter a higher state of union, an inner spiritual union. If the two
partners will diligently work on resolving their karma and psychology,
they can help each other attain balance between the masculine and feminine
aspects of their beings. When that balance is attained on an individual
level, the two partners can achieve a much higher degree of union than
is possible otherwise. This then leads to a much higher sense of fulfillment
and purpose in a marriage. This union between man and wife is a representative
of the union between the soul and the spiritual self. It can indeed
help both partners achieve that inner union, and therefore a marriage
which lives up to its highest potential can be a great spiritual boost
for both partners.
Let me make it clear that not every marriage can achieve that higher
union. Yet I must also caution you that the majority of marriages do
have this potential. In other words, it is very common for people to
experience a disappointment in the early years of a marriage. This disappointment
is due to the fact that each person is unwhole and expects that the
partner should make them feel whole. When the feeling of wholeness is
not there, it is so easy to fall for the lie of the ego that you simply
have not found the right partner. And if only you found the right partner,
you would immediately be in marital bliss.
This is simply a lie. You could be married to your twin soul, yet as
long as there is karma and unresolved psychology, there can be no bliss.
Most marriage partners have the potential to experience true wholeness.
However, that wholeness can only be attained when each partner has individual
wholeness, meaning that the person has resolved a certain amount of
karma and psychology.
My point is that there are situations where you should end a marriage
in order to advance the spiritual growth of both partners, or at least
the partner who is interested in spiritual growth. Yet it would be extremely
wise to make a sincere and wholehearted effort to make the marriage
live up to its highest potential before you decide on a divorce. If
you leave one partner before you have resolved your psychology, you
are likely to attract another partner who will bring out that same unresolved
psychology in yourself. Only it is likely that your second partner might
do it in a more extreme manner than your first partner. So why not work
it out with your first partner? Once you have worked out your psychology,
it might be prudent to move on. Yet when you have worked out your psychology
your first marriage might indeed be so fulfilling that you see no reason
to move on.
In other words, you should never have a divorce because your ego wants
to run away from something that isn't good enough. There really is no
point in chasing the marital rainbow, because I can assure you that
there is no pot of gold at the end of it. You should have a divorce
only when you know, through a deep, inner soul knowing, that it is time
to move on to something that is better in a true spiritual sense.
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Copyright
© 2004 by Kim Michaels |
