| Answer
from Jesus:
Thank you for raising some
important questions. Obviously, I could write an entire book about this
topic, but for now let me give some general remarks about the questions
you raise.
Do you have any recommendations on methods for introducing
spiritual concepts and the spiritual path to children?
The best way to teach children
about anything is to teach them by example. Children are natural imitators
and follow the examples of the adults around them. So the very best
way to teach children about spiritual concepts is to make sure that
you yourself have adopted the attitude that you are a seeker of truth
instead of a follower of doctrine. You need to adopt the approach to
spirituality that this website calls the inner
approach. And you need to move away from the outer, doctrinal or
dogmatic approach.
In other words, you need to be constantly searching for a higher understanding
of spiritual matters than what you have right now. You need to be curious
and willing to ask difficult questions. You need to realize that your
present understanding is not the final or infallible understanding,
but simply a stepping stone to an even deeper understanding. You need
to be willing to consider and discuss any topic about spirituality without
feeling like certain topics are taboos or go too far beyond an accepted
doctrine or standard.
Only by adopting this open approach to spirituality will you avoid hurting
children and destroying their natural spirituality. It is a sad fact
that millions of devoutly religious people, be they Christians or members
of other religions, believe that they are doing the right thing by giving
their children a religious upbringing. Yet in reality these parents,
and their ministers, are destroying the children's natural spirituality.
This has two aspects.
In the New Testament, you will see that I rebuked my disciples for trying
to prevent the children from approaching me. I also said that unless
you become as a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven.
What I truly meant with that statement was that unless you develop the
approach to God that children have, you cannot put on the state of consciousness
that allows you to enter the kingdom of Heaven.
The two most important aspects of children's approach to God are their
natural curiosity and their innocence, or unconditionality.
You will see that children are naturally curious about God and the spiritual
side of life. This is because when a child is young, it usually has
a direct inner experience of the spiritual side of life. Many children
literally experience angels or ascended beings who are with them as
helpers. Therefore, they know there is more to life than the material
universe, and they are naturally curious about it.
Unfortunately, most adults tend to ignore or outright deny the inner
spirituality of children. Many adults do this because modern psychology
has labeled children’s spirituality as a sign of immaturity or
the fictitious belief in “magic helpers”. Other adults do
it because children naturally tend to ask questions that cannot readily
be answered by the doctrines that these adults accept as infallible
or complete.
The simple fact is that because children have a direct experience of
the reality of the spiritual realm, they see no reason why this reality
should be forced into the framework of a set of man-made doctrines,
be they in the field of science or in the field of religion. Therefore,
they are willing to ask any question that comes to mind, and this is
the hallmark of all true spiritual seekers. After all, the type of questions
you are willing to ask will determine the type of answers you can receive.
Does the Bible not say, “Ask and ye shall receive?” So if
you are afraid to ask questions that go beyond your present beliefs,
how can you receive deeper answers?
When it comes to presenting spiritual concepts to children, it is extremely
important to do this in such a way that it does not discourage or destroy
children's curiosity about God and about spiritual matters. Therefore,
it is very important not to present spiritual concepts in the form of
closed or infallible doctrines. Allow children to ask any questions
that come into their innocent minds. Encourage them to ask questions
and discuss these questions with them.
The other aspect of children’s spirituality is their innocent,
or unconditional, approach to spiritual topics and to God. Because children
experience the spiritual realm as real, and because they see it as a
benevolent force that is there to help them, they have no fear of God.
They are not afraid to approach God, and indeed why should they be?
During Old Testament times, the Israelites developed an image of God
as an angry and judgmental God. Part of my mission was to present a
new image of God, namely that of a loving father figure. This is the
image that most children naturally have of God. Unfortunately, many
of today's Christians have reverted back to the Old Testament image
of an angry and judgmental God, and they inevitably pass this image
on to their children. Therefore, as soon as children begin to receive
religious training, their natural innocence and unconditionality is
quickly destroyed.
These children learn to see God as something dangerous or something
to be feared. They learn to think that they can approach God only in
specific ways, defined by their religious culture. They learn to think
that they can be worthy to approach God only if they live up to certain
conditions defined by church doctrines and rules.
This is a completely artificial programming that children should never
be exposed to. Why do you think I said that unless you become as little
children you cannot enter the kingdom? It is because of one simple fact.
Love is an attractive force and fear is a repulsive force. If you fear
God, you will never want to approach God or to get close to God. Therefore,
how could you enter God's kingdom? Everything is subject to your free
will, and God will not force you to enter his kingdom. You must do so
of your own free will, but how can you do so if you fear God?
Children naturally love God, and this love for God is the most important
asset that any soul can have on the spiritual path. Therefore, the greatest
crime against children is to destroy their natural love for God and
their natural feeling that they are welcome to approach God without
following any outer conditions.
When I allowed the little children to approach me, I set up no conditions
for their approach. It was my disciples who attempted to set up conditions
for their approach. If I did not do so, why do so many modern Christians
feel that their children should live up to certain conditions before
they can approach God, Christ or spiritual topics?
Let the children come to me with their curiosity, their innocence and
their unconditional attitude. Let the parents stand back and do some
soul searching so they can realize that they need to follow my command
and become as curious and innocent as a little child. And then too the
adults can approach me, and they will be received with the same unconditional
love with which the children are received.
In reality, all people who approach God are received with unconditional
love. The problem is that most people do not perceive this unconditional
love or cannot accept it. Most people have set up conditions in their
minds which makes them feel that unless they live up to certain outer
rules and regulations, they are not worthy to receive God’s love.
Because everything is subject to free will, God cannot force you to
receive his love. You must accept it, and you can do so only when you
accept that you are worthy to receive it.
Most children are born with this sense of worthiness and unconditionality,
and it is truly one of their greatest assets. Please do not destroy
it in your zeal to give your children a “good Christian upbringing.”
Could you comment on the role of "searching for"
vs."receiving" spiritual knowledge as there seems to be
some value in having to search for truth for yourself as opposed to
being explicitly taught these concepts from birth.
I am sure you can see from
my previous comments that I completely agree with the value of helping
your children search for spiritual knowledge rather than forcing it
upon them in the form of fixed or infallible doctrines.
One of the most dangerous illusions in the world of religion is the
idea of an automatic salvation. This is literally the way that seems
right unto a man, but the end thereof is the way of death. I have commented
on this problem throughout this website. The essence of the problem
is that people believe that by being a member of a certain church and
following all of its rules and doctrines, they will automatically be
saved. As I said elsewhere, this is a fallacy.
The key to salvation is to attain a higher state of consciousness, namely
the Christ consciousness. The only way to achieve this state of consciousness
is to be a seeker of truth. You cannot attain Christ consciousness by
being a follower of doctrine. This simply cannot be done, and no amount
of argumentation from orthodox Christians will change this fact.
So the best thing you can do is to heal the wounds that you received
from orthodox churches. Become a seeker of truth and then pass this
approach to religion on to your children.
Take note that when you are a seeker of truth, you do not accept any
doctrine as being absolute, final, closed or infallible. The entire
idea of being a seeker of truth is that as you raise your consciousness
and understanding, God or the Ascended Host will give you higher spiritual
truths than what you are able to grasp today. When you truly understand
and embrace this approach to religion, you see that there is no such
thing as a closed or infallible religious doctrine.
The important point in terms of raising children is that when you are
a seeker of truth, you can allow your children to ask questions that
are driven by their natural curiosity and their unconditional approach
to God. What happens in many religious families is that the parents
feel threatened when their children ask questions that the parents or
their accepted doctrines cannot answer. By being a seeker of truth,
you never find yourself in this unfortunate state of mind. When you
are a seeker of truth, you are not afraid to use the magic words: “I
don't know.”
If your child asks you a question about spirituality that you cannot
answer, there is no greater gift you can give your child than using
these magic words. This will preserve the child's curiosity and unconditionality.
In contrast, giving the child a fixed doctrine or giving the child the
impression that the question is wrong or unacceptable is the worst thing
you can do to your child.
When you are a seeker of truth, you can openly discuss spirituality
and God with your children without having to force them to agree with
you or with a fixed outer doctrine. You can then develop a much closer,
more loving and more enjoyable relationship to your children that can
serve as an important contact point throughout life.
When you spoon-feed your children with a fixed outer doctrine, it often
happens that the children in their teenage years will rebel against
your approach to religion and your religion. In many families this creates
a split between parents and children that is entirely unnecessary. If
you build a loving and open relationship to your children concerning
spiritual topics, it can become a bridge between you and your children,
especially when the children reach the difficult teenage years.
What happens to teenagers is that as a natural part of discovering and
defining their own identity, they will rebel against an identity which
they feel is forced upon them by their parents, their teachers, their
ministers or by society. So if you develop a relationship to your children
in which you can talk about spirituality without forcing anything upon
them, it can become an incredible tool for maintaining a good relationship
to your children during their teenage years. It can also become a source
of mutual enjoyment that can last throughout life.
Also, how can we inspire children to internalize the spiritual
teachings that we present them?
First of all through your
own example. So make sure that you internalize the spiritual concepts
before you present them to the children. But also make sure that you
are open to discovering new aspects of the spiritual concepts.
Unfortunately, many parents have the attitude that they are the ones
who should teach their children and that they have nothing to learn
from their children. This is especially true for people who have grown
up in an orthodox religious culture and have adopted the outer approach
to religion. They have an authoritarian attitude towards children and
feel that their children should accept their religious beliefs.
If you are a seeker of truth, you do not have to set yourself up as
an authority on spiritual matters, at least not in the traditional sense.
Instead of feeling like you have to force certain beliefs upon your
children, you can set yourself up as a resource for answers.
Your children will naturally come to you with their questions about
spirituality, especially when they find that you are willing to help
them without forcing anything upon them. Incidentally, when you do adopt
this attitude and build such a relationship with your children, you
will find that with their innocent minds they can teach you many things
about true spirituality. They can especially help you reclaim your own
unconditional and innocent approach to God.
Another good way to help children internalize spiritual concepts is
to never give them defined or finalized answers. Contrary to the attitude
that many adults have to children, children are quite capable of reasoning
and figuring things out on their own. It is not that children's minds
are less capable than adult minds. It is simply that children's minds
speak a different language, in terms of images, concepts and words,
than do adult minds.
So the best way to present spiritual concepts to children is to always
start by having the children ask questions. You might introduce a certain
concept to a child and then ask the child what questions he or she has
about the concept. Then seek to help the child develop its own understanding
and reasoning process concerning the questions. In other words, seek
to help the child find its own answers rather than giving it pre-defined
answers.
Another important concept is to realize that if you are a spiritual
seeker, you have gone through a long process that enabled you to arrive
at your present beliefs and understanding. It is natural for parents
to want their children to achieve that same understanding in five minutes.
Yet, this simply cannot be done. Therefore, your child does not need
to achieve the same understanding that you have as an adult. It is perfectly
acceptable that the child has a somewhat different or more simplified
understanding of a spiritual concept, and then gradually discovers a
more advanced understanding as it grows up.
When you are a seeker of truth, you realize that spirituality is a process.
The most important thing you can understand about children is that childhood
is a process. The best thing you can do for your children is to strengthen
their ability to engage in the process of life and find their own answers,
instead of simply following the pre-defined answers that you, your church
or your society think is the only way to go.
Allow your children to go through the process of life. Support them
and guide them, but do not box them in by pre-defined doctrines. Trust
in the process of life. Help your child to anchor itself on the spiritual
path of seeking truth and then trust that your child's Christ self will
guide the child to the right answers at the right time.
In this respect, let me also say that one of the best ways to help children
internalize spiritual concepts is to use the child's natural tendency
to play. If you can turn spiritual concepts into playful activities,
then you have a much greater chance of helping your child internalize
such concepts.
Teach children by using stories, skits or plays. Create games based
on spiritual concepts. There is unlimited room for creativity, and many
people have already used their creativity to create such programs for
children. Some of what is existing is useful, even if it is given within
the context of a specific religion or church. However, there is an unlimited
need for materials that teach children about the universal spiritual
path that transcends all religions.
Finally, do you believe regularly attending church is an important
foundation for children's spiritual development?
That certainly depends on
which church we are talking about, and it depends on the attitude to
spirituality taken by the parents and the people that your child will
meet in church.
In general, let me say that if you regularly attend church, I encourage
you to bring your children. However, it is important to be sensitive
to the individual child. So my recommendation is that parents bring
their young children whenever practical. This sets a good example for
the children. When the children grow older, be sensitive to the children
and do not force them to go.
If you are a spiritual seeker, it is reasonable to assume that your
children are ready for a spiritual approach to religion. Therefore,
it would be potentially detrimental to such children to take them to
a traditional or orthodox Church. It would be especially detrimental
to force them to go every Sunday, because it easily introduces the concept
that religion is something you do out of a sense of fear and obligation
instead of with a sense of curiosity and joy.
The ideal situation would be to find a church that is based on the inner
approach to religion. If you cannot find such a church, you might look
for a church that has a child program based on stimulating the child's
curiosity and sense of joy. If you cannot find an outer church that
fulfills these requirements, it will be better for you to have a short
service at home with your children, or perhaps to band together with
other like-minded parents.
I realize that my comments will shock many orthodox Christians, but
then again how many orthodox Christians will study this website. The
simple fact is that forcing your children to go to church will not help
their spiritual growth. Many children will inevitably rebel against
such force when they reach their teens, and it often causes them to
reject all religion or their parent's religion. This can easily set
a pattern that the children cannot break on their own.
In contrast, if you help your children become seekers of truth, they
will naturally find a church as they grow up. This will be a church
that they accept on their own, but if your church allows them room to
grow, it is likely that they will accept your church.
Be sensitive to your children, and if they begin to express reluctance
to go to church, do not force them. Allow them to stay home when they
ask for it, and perhaps encourage them to go every other time or more
rarely. Once again, if you are a seeker of truth, you will always attempt
to encourage your children’s spiritual quest rather than forcing
religion or church upon them as a straitjacket for their minds.
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Copyright
© 2003 by Kim Michaels |
